Restless

I must say the break from treatment has been such a blessing....I am loving the opportunity to focus and have some energy!   Unfortunately, quite a bit of my energy is being spent on focusing on my surgery. 5 days away from today.....the day after my birthday.  Don't get me wrong.....I don't want to focus on that - it just seems to be what's on my mind........ALL THE TIME!  I am not so worried about the outcome or results......I know I can fight through anything!  I think it's more about the surgery itself and the recovery.  Not being in control, totally dependent on someone I just met and putting my life in his hands.  Trusting him.......